


I'm done playing nice

by ironyruinedmylife



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Hartley is a little shit, M/M, and he likes a challenge, and innuendos, and making fun of dr wells, butchered science, hartley has a plan, he acts like a sinnamon roll, he embarrasses everyone, he is actually a really pissed off cinnamon roll, he makes all of the crappy jokes, he really likes to monologue as well, its really fun okay, mentioned hartley/eobard, mentioned hartmon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 03:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4549311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironyruinedmylife/pseuds/ironyruinedmylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or in which Hartley makes all of the shitty jokes and literally talks himself out of jail because he is a smug little shit and thats exactly the kind of thing he'd enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm done playing nice

"Would the real Dr Shady please stand up?" Hartley asked, eyebrows raised. Caitlin's eyes went wide, Cisco made an embarrassed noise and Wells shot him a flat look "Too soon?"

"You fucking _asshole_." The Flash grumbled. Hartley shrugged

"Seriously though it's pretty obvious that he can walk, I've seen his foot move like three times now." He protested. Wells face displayed shock for a nanosecond before it fell into disapproval again, but it was long enough for Hartley to notice "Gotcha."

Hartley was having great fun. He knew that the prison was not built with him in mind, and that even if it was he had several advantages that none of them even had a vague inkling of and therefore if he so chose he could be out in a heartbeat. But Hartley being Hartley, he liked a challenge, so he dared himself to literally talk his way out of jail. He grinned, this was going to be _fun._

"Mr Rathaway-" Wells began, before Hartley cut him off

" _Mr Rathaway?_ Please. If you’d wanted them to know about your teacher kink then you should have just said," Wells face paled ever so slightly as his team turned to face him. Hartley grinned "I have no shame and several stories, want me to continue?" Hartley leered gleefully at them, a laugh bubbling up in his chest as Cisco glowered

"You think you're real funny, don't you?"

"I think I'm adorable." Hartley replied, shrugging and scrunching his nose in a way that he knew made people want to either look after him forever or jump his bones. Either worked fine for him. Apparently it also worked for Cisco, who blushed slightly.

"Still, why is Harrison's personal sex god here, you're cute but we don't have any history and _dear god_ Cisco _what_ have you done to my suit?!" He trailed off as he stared at the red leather "What have the nasty men done to you?" He growled. The Flash blinked

"You designed thi- _what do you mean sex god?"_ He began to splutter protests. Hartley grinned

"Of course I did, Cisco isn't _capable_. And has he started with the biting yet? You always liked biting." He nodded at Wells, who was growing paler by the second. The hero almost choked "I'm kidding, spangles, calm down. But in answer to your question, I designed the suit for one of my many awful ex's, your boss being at the top of the list. His name was Chip and he was a firefighter and I knew what he liked."

He let his tone do the talking for him. The Flash immediately sped out of the room and came back half a second later in new clothes and a grossed out look of his face, before the realization that he had just revealed his identity hit him 

"Barry Allen I fucking _knew it_." Hartley crowed, "God I'm good."

Cisco looked like he wanted to strangle him. Hartley winked at him. Cisco did want to strangle him. Barry grit his teeth

"You're so full of yourself." He commented. Hartley shot him a winning smile

"I've been working on it. Clearly I'm doing something right." He replied. Wells now looked like he was joining the strangling club, Hartley considered making and then sending both of them club t shirts to match his parents.

"How do you even have time to make these?' Caitlin gestured at the gloves "Don't you have a job or something?"

"He effectively teamed up with my parents to ruin any career I wanted in science and guess what, genius, my PhDs and degrees are all in scientific fields. I'm working on that and so far it's going pretty well but hey what can I put on the resume? Previous occupation: The Family Disappointment." He replied, raising an eyebrow at her.

Wells shrugged indifferently and god almighty Hartley was _so close_ to just shooting him where he sat but his therapist would be _so_ unimpressed and Hartley was working in being a Good Person so it wasn't an option, yet. Cisco looked vaguely sympathetic

"I feel it." He murmured. Hartley nodded at him

"See Cisco knows where it's at." He pointed out. Caitlin and Barry were just confused at this point and Wells was looking more pissed off by the second. Hartley was having the most fun he'd had in years, it was so satisfying to watch them try and fail to figure him out, especially when he had all of the cards. The look on Harrison's face when he'd sauntered in, a wide grin on his face, it had been _priceless._

"However you are all wasting my time and I rather _tire_ of being stuck here with you all." He continued. Barry blinked

"You're calling us boring?" He asked flatly. Hartley raised an eyebrow

"Well I'm certainly not feeling inspired to _stay_." He replied carelessly, examining his nails. "Now if one of you all would be so kind as to open my door and I can be on my way."

"You're kidding, right?" Cisco wasn't impressed. Hartley shot him a sharp grin

"Am I?"

"You blew up a building." Wells pointed out, Hartley threw him a flat look

"A fucking ugly building. Also they demolished a block of flats without the owners consent and now the kids who lived there are under my care." He responded. Caitlin frowned

"That's a suspiciously nice thing to do." She blinked at him. Hartley sniffed

"Meh, I've been there so, y'know, gotta look out for your own, right?"

Oh this was too _easy_ , these people, these 'heroes' were so damn easy to manipulate, like putty in his hands. Just give them a glimpse of the shit he'd gone through and they immediately saw him a new light. Having had a bad life made him who he was, it didn't excuse him. If only they realised that.

"You mean..." She trailed off

"I neither need nor want your pity." He ground out, laughing like a manic internally. While this was true, it also prompted the group to take a small step closer to his cage. Except Wells. He just sat there.

But he was a _dick_ so it was irrelevant.

Now he had their attention, all he needed to do was to get a little concern, so as soon as Caitlin's heel clacked against the floor he winced just so, blinking just a tad harder than usual. His eyes dropped to the floor, would it be enough?

"Are you alright?"

Yes. It was.

"Your concern will be the death of you." Hartley pointed out, not in this scenario of course, but had he been anyone else, the dick in the wheelchair for example, Caitlin's empathy would easily have gotten her killed. It was lucky Hartley wasn't down with murder. He glanced at Wells,

_Actually..._

"Hartley did that hurt you?" Cisco growled, impatience shining on his face. Hartley liked seeing him flustered, he was ever so cute when he thought he had the power in a situation. Especially when it involved Hartley.

"Oh my god Cisquito, leave it!" He groaned.

_Too easy._

Caitlin stepped forwards again, and this time Hartley let himself show pain. Her face contorted into pity and as Hartley's insides boiled in anger (he was _not_ pitiable. He had built _everything_ he had himself and personally every achievement he had made he was _damn_ proud of. _He was not pitiable_.) he allowed himself to grit his teeth in what Caitlin clearly thought was agony

"Cisco I'm gonna take him up to medbay." She stated. Hartley's face said surprise but his internal monologue said suckers.

"What?"

"He's sick."

"He's a _dick_."

 _Well neither of them are wrong, per say_. Hartley thought as his eyes flickered between them, calculating. Then he locked eyes with Wells, who looked really fucking cold and strategic for a man who couldn't drink his coffee without five sugars. Personally Hartley liked coffee like he liked girls. _Far_ away from him and preferably not looking at him like he was a kicked puppy goddammit Caitlin stop!

The door thunked open and Hartley decided that shock and reluctance was the way to go, if he was too eager then it would blow his cover immediately. She walked into the small room, stretching out a hand as he backed off

" _What are you doing?_ " Cisco hissed. Barry shrugged

"I don't know man, he doesn't look so good."

_Rude._

At this point Hartley knew his opportunity was _right the fuck now_ and he was in too much of a hurry to wait for another one. So he grabbed Caitlin's hand and pulled her close, spinning and wrapping a hand around a knife he'd hidden in his sleeve. A knife that he was perfectly aware was totally blunt but that wasn't the point. The point was that he had an obvious edge now.

"Caitlin breathe, I'm not going to hurt you." He whispered, "I need you to trust me,"

Yeah, like _that_ was going to happen.

Still, all he needed to do was plant a doubt in her mind.

"Ronnie's alive." He murmured as he tucked a note into her pocket. Team Flash had been frozen watching this two second ambush.

"Hartley-" Wells started

"Hush old man, go take your Viagra." Hartley growled, "Now this was fun, guys, nice little trip down memory lane. But I'm _done_ playing nice."

He saw Barry about to move and smirked. He pressed a button near his collar " _Don't move._ " He ordered.

The room froze. He let go of Caitlin, and brushed off her dress

"I am _really_ sorry about that, Caitlin. Now you see the funny thing about sound waves, they're a type of energy, and energy as we all know can be manipulated into another variation of itself. Access the right particles and frequencies and you can, for example, create a particular type of frequency and pitch which scrambles a certain type of your cells transmitting capabilities, rendering an attempt to move useless as no messages from your muscle cells can be sent to or from the brain for a time. A vocal paralytic, if you will. Oh don't worry, there'll be no permanent damage. You'll notice I've also been kind enough to leave your senses alone. " He explained. Cisco was going to be _so mad._

The ceiling rumbled ominously. Hartley smiled placidly

"And that's my ride. It's been fun, guys, we should do it again sometime." He stepped to the side just in time for a block of ceiling to melt away. "That's going to be expensive." Hartley commented.

Leonard Snart, Mick Rory and Lisa Snart dropped into the room from the large hole. Hartley raised an eyebrow

"Took you long enough."

"Like you could have been any quicker." Lisa snorted. Hartley shot her a flat look

" _Please_ , I could have had this whole op complete in an hour. Just cause your brother is an overprotective jerk-"

"Damn fuckin' straight." Lisa nodded. Leonard looked rather offended

"Just because I care about you-"

" _Anyway_ , did you get what you need?" Hartley cut him off with a roll of his eyes. Mick held up a memory stick

"Everything, you were right, they still have the same system so your program worked a treat." He replied. Hartley made a satisfied noise

"I'm always right. And one more thing," Hartley moved over to the frozen Dr Wells "Y'know, I volunteered for this operation. I planned it. I knew every single play you would try, I know your team inside out, you know I do. And yet this was _so easy_ , now I know you weren't fooled by the same trick I used on Caitlin but you were fooled by my angry ex routine. It was _hilarious_ watching you patronise me when I was the one with the cards. In fact I'd _love_ to watch you react when you find all of your files have been downloaded and yes, my dear, that includes Gideon and your cute little _side project._

“And all of that information at my disposal because you yet again underestimated me. You see a court will not pass a full guilty verdict with just my word, so the point of our little meet up was to distract you all, to make you think I was a spoiled brat and to maintain that while my friends over there hacked your systems with the coding I wrote because you were too _lazy_ to even change the damn _firewall_. And you were totally captivated by my act, you know why? Because I'm a genius, so I rehearsed, every word you could say, every step you could have taken was considered and compensated for. _Every move I made was calculated_. I rather think the court will have enough evidence to put you away for a long time. All because you were _lazy_ , _predictable_ , _dull_. Really I expected better."

As he walked back over to the grinning Rogues he patted Barry's cheek and muttered "Hey, let Harrison know that yellow really isn't his colour for me, will you?"

Leonard smiled at him "Very poetic, you always did have a way with words."

"You should hear me sing." Lisa shot a grapple hook into the ceiling of the upper floor, grabbed Mick and were immediately hoisted up. Leonard held out a hand to Hartley

"Are you ready?" He asked. Hartley smirked

"Always." He replied. Leonard wrapped an arm around him and shot another line upstairs.

"Ciao," Hartley called as they were swung out of the pipeline.

**Author's Note:**

> I warned you there would be more Hartley. Please let me know what you think,


End file.
